Most people need more reassurance than they feel comfortable asking for. They need to know they're still wanted, that the distance of a long week isn't withdrawal, that the shorter text message isn't cooling off. They feel this need and then feel embarrassed about it, because it seems like too much to want, like it implies distrust, like the person they care about will eventually find it tiring.

So they swallow the need. They talk themselves out of asking. They say "it's fine" when asked how they're feeling, and then spend two days with a low hum of not-fine-ness they can't exactly explain.

Here's the actual problem with not asking: it doesn't make the need go away. It just makes the need run covertly, which means you start looking for evidence instead of asking for direct reassurance. The evidence you find is usually ambiguous. Ambiguous evidence in an anxious mind becomes concerning. What was a small need that could have been addressed in one honest sentence now becomes a three-day spiral.

Asking for reassurance is not weakness. It is honest communication about what you need to feel secure. The person who loves you generally wants to give you that. They don't know you need it if you don't say so.

The thing to watch for isn't whether you need reassurance — most people do — but whether the reassurance helps when it comes. If you get it and it lands and the anxiety quiets, that's healthy need.